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Needing opinion: leaving elderly mother alone


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#1 DirectMe

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 04:03 AM

Good morning everyone,

 

My mom is currently living with me around Setiawangsa. I am very grateful that she decides to live here after so many years staying alone at her hometown. However, these days I feel like I am not doing my best for her. I am running around KL-JB at least once a week due to my work. She had to go to her doctors appointment alone and had to take care of herself on days that I am out. I am genuinely concerned with her well-being when I'm not around. Needing opinion whether I should take part-timer (thats a problem too.. don't know much about them) or should I talk to her about retirement centres?  



#2 AniNeo

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 05:35 AM

I believe that any decisions should be made through discussions with your mom. Have a long talk with her, tell your concerns and if possible, let her choice be the ideal solutions.

 

For me I would opt for a part-time care helper because you will be around, though not always, but its better than living in old folks centre   



#3 HellyPotta

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 05:44 AM

Hey there, have you tried asking people around? Like your neighbour or relatives/cousins when you're away? And does she have a disease since she needed to have a regular appointment with the doctor?



#4 annaking266

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 07:59 AM

I think you can try to google it and search whether there got home nursing services or not, since there are many kinds of services platforms at the internet.  



#5 HellyPotta

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Posted 27 November 2018 - 03:07 AM

I think you can try to google it and search whether there got home nursing services or not, since there are many kinds of services platforms at the internet.  

Gotta be mindful though as there are many cases out there revolving around medical care services. Have to be careful when choosing the right person. You would wanna find a source that shows the person's BG



#6 catwang90

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Posted 27 November 2018 - 03:45 AM

I think you can try to google it and search whether there got home nursing services or not, since there are many kinds of services platforms at the internet.  

I agree with you, nowadays anythings can be found on internet but have to make sure that the services platform are verified by others users. 



#7 DirectMe

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Posted 27 November 2018 - 10:10 AM

Hey there, have you tried asking people around? Like your neighbour or relatives/cousins when you're away? And does she have a disease since she needed to have a regular appointment with the doctor?

Truthfully, this is me asking around. We have neighbours and relatives but everyone will be at work by then...She usually have doctor appointments for her diabetes and high blood pressure... I have searched the net, a few that are interesting. What do you guys think about CaregiverAsia? or would yall recommend other platform?     



#8 HellyPotta

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Posted 27 November 2018 - 10:28 AM

Truthfully, this is me asking around. We have neighbours and relatives but everyone will be at work by then...She usually have doctor appointments for her diabetes and high blood pressure... I have searched the net, a few that are interesting. What do you guys think about CaregiverAsia? or would yall recommend other platform?     

You mean this one?

 

https://www.caregive...m/?locale=en-MY

 

Iirc, one of my cousin used one of their service before after he had a motorcycle accident. he had to undergo surgery and needed a few months to recover so he hired a physiotherapist from the same platform. He even recommended us to use them when we need a home nursing service :V



#9 hoisim

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Posted 28 November 2018 - 02:41 AM

You mean this one?

 

https://www.caregive...m/?locale=en-MY

 

Iirc, one of my cousin used one of their service before after he had a motorcycle accident. he had to undergo surgery and needed a few months to recover so he hired a physiotherapist from the same platform. He even recommended us to use them when we need a home nursing service :V

Hmm...is that expensive for their services? Since my mom was a stroke patient and i and thinking to find someone who can take care of her but normally the private nurse service was expensive.  



#10 asokan

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Posted 28 November 2018 - 09:11 AM

Good morning everyone,

 

My mom is currently living with me around Setiawangsa. I am very grateful that she decides to live here after so many years staying alone at her hometown. However, these days I feel like I am not doing my best for her. I am running around KL-JB at least once a week due to my work. She had to go to her doctors appointment alone and had to take care of herself on days that I am out. I am genuinely concerned with her well-being when I'm not around. Needing opinion whether I should take part-timer (thats a problem too.. don't know much about them) or should I talk to her about retirement centres?  

Hire someone to take a look of her seems a better choice than talk to her about staying in retirement centres since she just had been decided in staying with you. She may feel like being chased away if you ask her to stay in retirement center.


You mean this one?

 

https://www.caregive...m/?locale=en-MY

 

Iirc, one of my cousin used one of their service before after he had a motorcycle accident. he had to undergo surgery and needed a few months to recover so he hired a physiotherapist from the same platform. He even recommended us to use them when we need a home nursing service :V

Do they provide care companion as well? If ts mother is in good health being i think she wouldnt need a nurse to take a look of her.



#11 kzmt11

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Posted 28 November 2018 - 09:20 AM

Hmm...is that expensive for their services? Since my mom was a stroke patient and i and thinking to find someone who can take care of her but normally the private nurse service was expensive.  

ive been using their service lately. Hired a nurse to take care of my diabetic 68 y/o aunt to clean her wound and etc. I personally thinks that the price rate were reasonable since they are no extra charges on the transportation etc..



#12 DirectMe

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Posted 28 November 2018 - 10:54 AM

You mean this one?

 

https://www.caregive...m/?locale=en-MY

 

Iirc, one of my cousin used one of their service before after he had a motorcycle accident. he had to undergo surgery and needed a few months to recover so he hired a physiotherapist from the same platform. He even recommended us to use them when we need a home nursing service :V

yeah. I am kind of keen to this because the service that they offer fits my needs, someone to accompany her to hospital and to check her daily routine.. 



#13 hoisim

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Posted 29 November 2018 - 02:14 AM

ive been using their service lately. Hired a nurse to take care of my diabetic 68 y/o aunt to clean her wound and etc. I personally thinks that the price rate were reasonable since they are no extra charges on the transportation etc..

i checked their website, they provided so many nurse options for me so i can depend on my budget to choose... anyway thanks for your information.



#14 kzmt11

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Posted 29 November 2018 - 05:33 AM

i checked their website, they provided so many nurse options for me so i can depend on my budget to choose... anyway thanks for your information.

i know right. you can choose according to your budget. and if you notice as well, there are many more service beside nursing.



#15 HellyPotta

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Posted 29 November 2018 - 08:33 AM

Hmm...is that expensive for their services? Since my mom was a stroke patient and i and thinking to find someone who can take care of her but normally the private nurse service was expensive.  

You're lucky since the service is flexible. Meaning there's no contract of period of service though you need to mutually agree with the caregiver him/herself. So you can hire one caregiver for maybe 6 hours since you're still staying at your house. You can also call her to check up on her. You can save a lot there rather than having to hire someone for a few months like a maid


yeah. I am kind of keen to this because the service that they offer fits my needs, someone to accompany her to hospital and to check her daily routine.. 

Yeah that could fall under the care companion routine. But you have to make sure to provide the caregiver all the info needed to make it easier for the caregiver to do all the necessary work. Like the doctor's num, or the usual hospital your mom goes to



#16 HussienShhh

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Posted 29 November 2018 - 10:04 AM

First came across caregiverasia when my neighbour hired a nurse to take care of their father. He was a healthy man but got hit by a car, after that he was in vegetative state about 3 years, before he passed away due to complications. I think the nurse did a good job taking care of him. She came every morning, spending at least 3 hours looking after routines such as cleaning his bed, fixed his feeding tube and help him with his bowel. 



#17 mylar

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Posted 30 November 2018 - 02:55 AM

 

First came across caregiverasia when my neighbour hired a nurse to take care of their father. He was a healthy man but got hit by a car, after that he was in vegetative state about 3 years, before he passed away due to complications. I think the nurse did a good job taking care of him. She came every morning, spending at least 3 hours looking after routines such as cleaning his bed, fixed his feeding tube and help him with his bowel.

I'm just thinking about to find a trusted and professional nurse for my mom, she was injured her leg, now is very difficult for her to walk
I hope caregiver can solve my problem.     



#18 asokan

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Posted 30 November 2018 - 10:50 AM

I'm just thinking about to find a trusted and professional nurse for my mom, she was injured her leg, now is very difficult for her to walk
I hope caregiver can solve my problem.     

I think can since you can hire a nurse from the caregiver to help you mother to clean her wound and take care of her.



#19 lindley Tan

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Posted 01 December 2018 - 05:23 AM

I assume she's not well enough to travel with you but if you could don't send her to retirement homes. Work out other alternative. Find a caretaker seems good. Maybe your close relatives or neighbour? Hiring caretakers seems good too, there are a lot of good caretaking services out there



#20 KayleeLOL

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Posted 01 December 2018 - 07:37 AM

Its sucks nowadays this is the dilemma of our generation. We live during the time where working takes so much time in our lives its hard to balance between health and family. We want to take care of our parents especially when they are too old to do things themselves yet we are so occupied with work. Sending them to retirement center seems like a rational decision but emotionally a hard one. If you have the finance for it, hire someone to take care of your mother whenever you are not around. In my opinion its better to spend more money and time for your parents rather than letting them go just for the easy way out



#21 jessica99

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Posted 01 December 2018 - 04:42 PM

I assume she's not well enough to travel with you but if you could don't send her to retirement homes. Work out other alternative. Find a caretaker seems good. Maybe your close relatives or neighbour? Hiring caretakers seems good too, there are a lot of good caretaking services out there

Definitely! I'm sure it will leave a sour taste in our mouth if we resort to sending our parents to old retirement homes when we are totally capable of taking care of them ourselves. If work is the only issue, just hire someone for the day. It'll mean a lot to them



#22 lindley Tan

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Posted 01 December 2018 - 06:33 PM

Its sucks nowadays this is the dilemma of our generation. We live during the time where working takes so much time in our lives its hard to balance between health and family. We want to take care of our parents especially when they are too old to do things themselves yet we are so occupied with work. Sending them to retirement center seems like a rational decision but emotionally a hard one. If you have the finance for it, hire someone to take care of your mother whenever you are not around. In my opinion its better to spend more money and time for your parents rather than letting them go just for the easy way out

I agree 100%. But another thing is not everyone can afford caretakers. Private services like this are usually expensive i think. We all want the best for our family but putting ourselves in the shoes of people who are desperate, we should understand why they would send their parents away



#23 KayleeLOL

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Posted 02 December 2018 - 06:16 AM

I agree 100%. But another thing is not everyone can afford caretakers. Private services like this are usually expensive i think. We all want the best for our family but putting ourselves in the shoes of people who are desperate, we should understand why they would send their parents away

You can take a look at caregiverasia, someone mentioned it in this thread i think. They seems pretty affordable and has a lot of options for choices. If theres a will, theres a way right? If you really put your mind into it you can always find an alternative not to send your parents to retirement home



#24 jessica99

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Posted 02 December 2018 - 11:55 AM

You can take a look at caregiverasia, someone mentioned it in this thread i think. They seems pretty affordable and has a lot of options for choices. If theres a will, theres a way right? If you really put your mind into it you can always find an alternative not to send your parents to retirement home

How trustable is this? I prefer hiring someone out of recommendation from my friends or something. We are talking about leaving our family in the care of a stranger after all. Security is the main concern



#25 KayleeLOL

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Posted 02 December 2018 - 12:38 PM

How trustable is this? I prefer hiring someone out of recommendation from my friends or something. We are talking about leaving our family in the care of a stranger after all. Security is the main concern

I'd say pretty trustworthy. They are a platform for professional sitters for hire. The sitters need to include their background info and qualifications so aside from their specialization in taking care of the elderly, they are also pretty secured because they are registered under the website



#26 FeliciaJ

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 01:40 PM

I agree 100%. But another thing is not everyone can afford caretakers. Private services like this are usually expensive i think. We all want the best for our family but putting ourselves in the shoes of people who are desperate, we should understand why they would send their parents away

 

Lol money is not an excuse for us to send our parents just like that lah, no matter how much money we give them also not enough to pay back what they had been going to raise us from the moment we are born into this world, I see my friends who only have moderate income also can live happily together with their parents what, so money isn't really the problem here.


I'd say pretty trustworthy. They are a platform for professional sitters for hire. The sitters need to include their background info and qualifications so aside from their specialization in taking care of the elderly, they are also pretty secured because they are registered under the website

If that is the case I think I would try it out also, because sometimes those babysitters outside might not be so trustable, and with the increase in the news such as where the babysitters would do immoral things to the small child just make me worry more, but at least with Caregiverasia it is 100% safe.



#27 LeonIsHere

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 01:48 PM

You can take a look at caregiverasia, someone mentioned it in this thread i think. They seems pretty affordable and has a lot of options for choices. If theres a will, theres a way right? If you really put your mind into it you can always find an alternative not to send your parents to retirement home

Well, if I were to compare hiring someone to take care of them or sending them to old folks home, I guess the first option would be better right since they would be much comfortable staying at their own house as in the old folks home it is an entirely new environment for them, so thats why I also look for services from Caregiverasia to help look after my mother at home who have a bit of trouble walking around by herself.


How trustable is this? I prefer hiring someone out of recommendation from my friends or something. We are talking about leaving our family in the care of a stranger after all. Security is the main concern

Caregiverasia is a long established company from Singapore and was just recently expanded their market to Malaysia and Taiwan so not many people knew about it yet, so rest assured it is 100% trustable and reliable service and you can just arrange your time whenever you want, can take a look at their website if you are interested, very recommended for people looking for similar services.






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