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Marriage and Religion?

marriage religion couple cultural culture issues

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#1 inXplicable

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Posted 20 May 2006 - 10:17 PM

wut would ur parents think if u married someone that followed a different religion than u did? ive thot about this for a long time even tho i shouldnt be worrying about it for a long time. ive nvr openly discussed this w/ my parents bcuz well its too soon, but i no that theyd probably not like it if i were to marry someone hoo want Buddhist...so wut do u...or ur parents think...?

#2 -kaiyi-

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Posted 22 May 2006 - 12:00 AM

i'm athiest, so i dont think that it would matter if i marry someone of a differnt religion...

#3 bluepigsinthesky

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Posted 22 May 2006 - 03:23 AM

unfortunately, i know my mom wouldn't approve but my dad wouldn't mind depending on the religion. sad and pathetic.

but aside from the parent factor, i think religion is definately a big issue which needs to be discussed before marriage just because of future issues, e.i. what religion will the kids be raised to believe in, conversions or freedom to believe in whatever, etc.

#4 silverp

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Posted 22 May 2006 - 10:19 PM

I am aethiest. my parents don't mind long as i don't marry someone that's really dark.

#5 arora

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Posted 20 July 2006 - 05:46 AM

Well personally, I wouldn't marry someone who did not share the same faith as myself. But if I did, my parents would support my marriage even though they would be really disappointed.

I agree with bluepigsinthesky. I think religion is something that should definately be talked about before entering into marriage. Even people of the same faith have their own ideas of how to teach their religion to their kids. It's a very personal subject, so it is something that should be discussed before getting married.

#6 PoohyAnge

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Posted 20 July 2006 - 08:47 AM

I'm a buddhist and my hubby is a catholic. We were lucky we didn't encounter any objections from either side of our parents when we married.

Hubby and I have a understanding about our different religion. He don't stop me from doing anything buddhist and I don't stop him from doing catholic.

We don't believe that either of us should convert for the sake of marriage. We believe that in the event either of want to convert it will be purely because we truly want to and really believe in that religion.

#7 keepp

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Posted 20 July 2006 - 09:57 AM

I'm a buddhist and my hubby is a catholic. We were lucky we didn't encounter any objections from either side of our parents when we married.

Hubby and I have a understanding about our different religion. He don't stop me from doing anything buddhist and I don't stop him from doing catholic.

We don't believe that either of us should convert for the sake of marriage. We believe that in the event either of want to convert it will be purely because we truly want to and really believe in that religion.


that's cool you both get to keep your religion. assuming you guys want/have kids, how are you going to raise them? catholic or buddhist?

#8 PoohyAnge

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Posted 21 July 2006 - 03:24 AM

hi keepp, we have talked about having kids. We decided that we will let the kids determine their religion themselves when they are old enough to decide but before they can decide, it will be follow the parents wherever they go! hehe! I follow my hubby to church and he follows me to the temple as well. :)

#9 Guyver28

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Posted 21 July 2006 - 04:37 AM

This will be surely difficult. I don't mind my wife to have a different religion as long as she don't force me to do things that r related to her religion.

I am a Buddist & if she is Christian I really hope she don't pull me to a chruch or study the bibble with her. Worse of all if she is a Muslim. According to Muslim u need to convert your religion to Muslim in order to get married.

#10 trizz251

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Posted 21 July 2006 - 04:58 AM

there is no problem in marrying someone of a different religion, but then what about the kids. I'm buddhist, i have no objection in other ppl believing other things. As long as she don't force me into doing things that are her religion.

#11 e-mo

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Posted 21 July 2006 - 11:26 AM

Well...
relegion is always a tuff topic to talk about..since this is a very sensitive topic to many people..
I already had my arguements with someone..who was a very strong believer..

to me...I actually dont mind anyone being buddhism...catholic..jews ..or whatever...
in general..I think they all are the same...and there is actually no building..or instituation..that tells you, you are a good believer. What matters most is..how you are in your heart..and head....this is the place...where religion should be...and not in an institution...
I do know many people..who go to the church or pagode (temple) every weekend... and I do know them personal too..and I tell you...it is completely different..how they are in their privat life...or in the temple..which I think it not right! that is why I dont think people who visits the temple or church frequently are better believers...

I do know what I want..what is wrong and what is right...
and I am who I am.... and I know I am good :) body and soul...this is all what matters in relegion..

as for a conclusion..well...if I would have a gf with a different relegion..this is fine with me :) whatever makes her happy...it will make me happy too...as long as she is not trying to force me joining something I dont like to join...

e-mo

#12 dujun

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Posted 21 July 2006 - 04:44 PM

well, i don't think i'll consider a guy that has a different religion from me. becos its going to be very difficult for the marriage if we have different religions (which lead to different values, different outlook to life, etc)

#13 mostwanted

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Posted 21 July 2006 - 10:15 PM

I'm athiest, so I guess I will be marrying someone that shared the same views as I. Otherwise, we would probably not get along very well. My parents are athiest as well. I don't think they would care if I ended marrying someone that was religious.

#14 hellsage

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Posted 23 July 2006 - 11:59 PM

My dad wouldn't mind. My mom would prefer me to marry someone of the same religion as me.

particularly because of:

well, i don't think i'll consider a guy that has a different religion from me. becos its going to be very difficult for the marriage if we have different religions (which lead to different values, different outlook to life, etc)


Also, there is more common ground if the couple is of the same religion. More things can be shared or done together.

PoohyAnge, if your hubby goes to a catholic retreat, would you go with him?
I'm just wondering.

#15 PoohyAnge

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Posted 24 July 2006 - 10:04 AM

hellsage, i think an important part to our relationship is that we both are not very staunch/pious in our religion. Therefore, I don't foresee him going for Catholic retreat.

Anyway, to answer your question, if he really does goes for Catholic retreat, by all means go ahead. I will then see if I want to go or not. He can go I will not restrict him but doesn't mean I must follow him.

#16 Jimmyccc

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Posted 27 July 2006 - 09:35 AM

come tho think of this issue, i can still remember what my dad told me before i left my home for studies and overseas for work... and i quote

"Son, you can find a gal of any religion to get married to... all except muslim"

sorry to any muslim that read this post. i don't mean to offend anyone, just letting all of u know... kind of funny isn't it to have a dad tell you such thing... can't seem to find any reasons for that...

#17 joaniemaloney

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Posted 03 August 2006 - 09:58 PM

I don't think my parents would mind. They're actually very open on who I wed, as long as he's a guy who truly loves me.

#18 kaviii

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Posted 05 August 2006 - 02:50 AM

come tho think of this issue, i can still remember what my dad told me before i left my home for studies and overseas for work... and i quote

"Son, you can find a gal of any religion to get married to... all except muslim"

sorry to any muslim that read this post. i don't mean to offend anyone, just letting all of u know... kind of funny isn't it to have a dad tell you such thing... can't seem to find any reasons for that...


yea same...i think itz because itz very hard to convert to islam...u need to go thru the fasting test and circumsion(if ur a guy or girl IF the family belongs to a particular ethnic group that needs it)...anyways it takes longer to be a muslim den to get married

#19 Guest_Gabriel_*

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Posted 03 January 2012 - 08:50 AM

I was told many times that these two matters are completely separate and religion shouldn't have any negative impact on marriage decisions, but it wasn't practically like that. A close friend of mine couldn't marry after her long engagement with a Buddhist guy. Simply, she's a Catholic, and her family required him to become a Catholic before they can get married. This dispute occurred between two families in their engagement time and left unsolved for so long that the couple decided not to hold wedding anymore and break up later… *shake head*

In my country, several Catholic families rather have Catholic son or daughter-in-law than Buddhist or Islam. And if he/she is atheist, they'll ask him/her to embrace their religion later. Catholic families have tradition to go to church on Sat or Sun mornings, and they hope their descendants remain it for generations. I find it unreasonable and unfair to those son/daughter-in-law. Personally I'm unreligious, and if following my partner's religion is a prerequisite for marriage, I'd rather hold back than accept that condition.

#20 MichaelD

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Posted 04 January 2012 - 03:03 PM

Both of my parents are dead,,,, but with that said I would not care what they would say about the girl I chose to marry, race, religion, size, education, what God she believes in ,,,, I could care less what anyone says. It is our choice its our heart our love & in the end does it really matter what God he or she believes in ? Its about both of our hearts, love, mind & bodies melting as one. I could care less about what others think including my parents,,, in the end we made the choice to be in love & to be together :)

#21 No.Othing Serio.Ous?

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Posted 06 January 2012 - 04:56 PM

I'm an atheist.

I don't really care about what they believe in.

#22 Moonshade

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Posted 06 January 2012 - 06:47 PM

Atheist here. I don't really care either, but I don't think I could ever marry a *hard core* theist. Our views on life would be too different.

My parents could care less about religion (yay parents!) although my mom is very superstitious (think: feng shui and stuff like that).

Edited by Moonshade, 06 January 2012 - 06:47 PM.


#23 Asfinah

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 07:25 AM

Am a Muslim and its true what kavii has just said, well if you were to marry a person from another religion and you are a Muslim~ then there are many things that are out to be done and considered. There is converting, must pray the 5 daily prayers, fasting the whole month of Ramadhan (28/29 days) every year, circumcision, and etc.....Though there are these rules but a person can decide whether to follow them or not coz no one is forced into changing ones beliefs unless you are willing to.

And as far as am also concerned well my parents wouldn't mind me marring a person from a different tribe but so long he is a Muslim.

#24 Guest_LovelyLie_*

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 08:23 AM

I do not much care what my parents would say. But it would be a problem to me. I as an atheist cannot understand when someone says "But god says, waits, does this and that..." . For me there is only you and me and other people and only our own actions. I could not be in a relationship with a believer. Is no matter if he is a christian or what ever that is impossible.

Edited by LovelyLie, 07 March 2012 - 08:23 AM.


#25 mlint007

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Posted 07 March 2012 - 03:58 PM

It does matter in my family...I also would want someone who loves God as much as I. I believe the family who prays together stays together. I can have atheist friends but I want my future husband the same as me.

#26 Maple Lens

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Posted 11 March 2012 - 08:56 AM

Well, this is quite a sensitive issue. Some parents do care and some don't.

#27 Ait Wang

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Posted 22 July 2012 - 08:39 PM

My parents cares. However personally I prefer a lifetime partner who has the same religion as me. Our religion shapes our beliefs, values and perspectives in life. I think and decide base on the teachings of my religion. I'm open minded but to some extent.

#28 Tokyokirei

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Posted 22 July 2012 - 08:43 PM

My parents don't care but my bf's parents sort of do. His parents are Buddhist and they do prefer their kids to get with a Buddhist significant other. Luckily for him though, I'm Buddhist also so no problems there Posted Image

#29 DreamWeaver1337

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Posted 23 July 2012 - 05:51 AM

Love has no boundaries.

.....right?

#30 jcrew24

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Posted 23 December 2012 - 09:43 PM

I think the most common scenario is for the atheist Asian person to convert to whatever religion the spouse practices.

Asian women usually convert for her Jewish husband or Catholic husband.
Asian men usually convert for a Jewish wife or Catholic wife.
I think most practicing Christians and Jews will implicitly expect an atheist Asian person to convert before their marriage.